I wanted to make a simple post and say 'out loud' that the choice to simplify, the choice to reduce, the choice to silence, and to mute - is amazing in its simplicity and its power. I am so thankful we are all doing this. I am so thankful there are other Christians willing to step up and say, 'yes, I want to grow!'. This is a marvelous thing and a proof that the Holy Spirit is hard at work changing and maturing each of us, every day. We are all being conformed into the image of Jesus and it is a good thing - and only that much more as we get to pursue Jesus with and through our friends!
This morning as I read in Luke 3 I surveyed the preaching of John with new eyes - I had never noticed before that the answer to every question he gives regarding turning from death to life involves - yep, wealth. Check this out:
"the crowds were asking him, “What then should we do?” John answered them, “The person who has two tunics must share with the person who has none, and the person who has food must do likewise.” Tax collectors also came to be baptized, and they said to him, “Teacher, what should we do?” He told them, “Collect no more than you are required to.” Then some soldiers also asked him, “And as for us – what should we do?” He told them, “Take money from no one by violence or by false accusation, and be content with your pay.” (Luke 3:10-14 NET)
...and it goes on to say that they were filled with anticipation and joy. This is because they were suddenly and unexpectedly finding the pearl of greatest price and it was God's life and joy they were stumbling into. I hope we are on the same path! They were about to come face to face with Messiah and the pre-requisites were not unobtainable, they were things people can really accomplish - God want's us to find Him!
I am personally so thankful that this process is bringing back to the surface my passion for people - to see those in my life grow, and mature in their faith. Most exciting of all - Jesus has been reminding me of the joy found in the Gospel; giving, and listening, and seeking to understand - in short, choosing to bear witness to the Gospel at work in people is the source of the greatest joy! I am so pleased to have re-found this simple truth. It is like cleaning out your closet and finding a great gift that you had forgotten all about and that meets some current and urgent need perfectly! "Ahhh, this is the answer to the riddle I have been struggling with! I have been searching and searching and it turns out what I have needed has been here the whole time!"
The simple truth - the answer to the riddle and the treasure lost in the midst of all my stuff at the back of the closet is this - as we give, as we pour out, as we choose to be really, truly, 'with' - as we choose to live with, love with, hope with, and suffer with - as we choose to listen to and then stand in solidarity with our neighbors in the spiritual places named 'life' and 'relationship', then we begin to understand and live in the joy of the Father's heart and hope; growing in our understanding that He truly loves, and truly hopes day in and day out for all His children to come home to him. As we allow ourselves to be poured out into other peoples lives, the Father is faithful to backfill our hearts with the dual nature of His love. We increase in our understanding of the passion and ache of His heart to save all that would come to Him AND we find that His joy, and exuberance, and satisfaction begin to course through our veins in measures greater than we can possibly have the space to contain. He is really just that good, and that is why we are here - to realize that God-goodness and to tell others that Salvation has come for them, that the Kingdom has drawn near to them, and that we need to talk. Blessings and go, be the Kingdom of Life in someone else's life today!
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Monday, December 16, 2013
God is NOT Measurable
These last few days I have had to repent and admit that my big underlying problem (well, I have many in general...) but the big struggle I have been grappling with is as I am breaking out of my routines, doing these fairly peculiar types of fasts, I then find myself wondering if this whole process is accomplishing anything. (not this media aspect so much - that has been itself really wonderful) I think the bottom-line is that I expect too much; I act - and I expect a re-act(ion). What I find myself repenting of is that my mentality basically reduces God to an employee of my impish whims (now that I am getting more serious about this spiritual stuff (tapping on my spiritual watch) - where IS HE???).
Mercifully, when I gain quiet, when I walk and pray and breath with Him suddenly the equation clarifies. When I simplify my expectation matrix, suddenly I see that God IS doing stuff, IS re-arranging, and IS making changes using the vehicle of this intentional fast. In short, when I quit looking for what it is NOT doing for me, I begin to realize and to grasp what God IS doing in and around me.
In the parlance of the old saints one would say we are fixated on receiving consolations from God that save us the aridity of the desert - or hard - times. Modern church vernacular would say that we are addicted to high-points, counting only the mountain-top experiences as the godly, and remonstrating the rest as 'resistance' or explaining away trials by saying 'god was not in it'. But the truth is, that is not liberty! that is not even increasing discernment! It certainly is not maturity! It is pure Opinionation to think that I can discern what part of life 'is God' and what part is not - He is All and In all - for those that are trying to listen to the Holy Spirit, God is causing everything to work together for good (Romans 8:28)! He sends the good to teach me to rejoice and be thankful, and He sends the hard and the bad to teach me to rejoice and be thankful! God is fully in both the high and low points! God is fully in both the richness and the dry places - both are for our good and both lead us to greater maturity. In a word this is all about trust. Does fasting really matter? Does being a community that fasts really matter? We have to trust in order to do it. And in the doing we find out more about Who it is that we are trusting.
Taken down a notch and moved into the day-to-day - God is in both the busyness and the quiet, He is in both the plenty and the sparse, He is in our small group, and in the other small groups, and even in the church body at the end of the street we don't really agree with! He is walking down the street fretting about His bills He cannot pay. He is planning on being alone in a cold apartment on Christmas Day. He will be at a swanky sweater party on the west-side on Christmas Eve. He is and will be with both the rich and the poor, the good and the bad, the successful and the screw-up (so I guess if success has screwed you up then you are doubly blessed? ...just kidding; = )
Part of fasting is learning to seek God and not reward, To seek Him for, and to know Him in, all His magnificent brilliance. The fact that the reward - of blessing and consolation sometimes (often-times!) comes with our seeking - is a really cool side-effect - but those are not at all the reason or even the benefit we are after. Our deep soul-need is that we are each seeking and craving a deeper and better friendship with God. We all desperately want to be wanted - even more so with regard to being both known and wanted by God! At some deep level we all know that we need to diligently be about finding our God-role model and then beginning to imitate Him. To know Him and and to emulate Him is a our greatest good - so if fasting gets us one step closer, if turning off the TV gets us one prayer, one more bit of hope, one faith-thought deeper into relationship with Him. Then lets agree to go hungry one more day.
We step into a fast in trust - in faith - that somewhere in the heavenlies our tiny act creates a ripple and blessings and life are enacted - we may never see the reward in this life - but let us set the example, the bar if you will, by becoming the kind of people who don't need to see reward - and are instead assured purely by trust in a Good God that getting to participate, to step in - even for a second - into God's sovereign will and life, is enough for us and is reward all its own.
Blessings, A.G.
Mercifully, when I gain quiet, when I walk and pray and breath with Him suddenly the equation clarifies. When I simplify my expectation matrix, suddenly I see that God IS doing stuff, IS re-arranging, and IS making changes using the vehicle of this intentional fast. In short, when I quit looking for what it is NOT doing for me, I begin to realize and to grasp what God IS doing in and around me.
In the parlance of the old saints one would say we are fixated on receiving consolations from God that save us the aridity of the desert - or hard - times. Modern church vernacular would say that we are addicted to high-points, counting only the mountain-top experiences as the godly, and remonstrating the rest as 'resistance' or explaining away trials by saying 'god was not in it'. But the truth is, that is not liberty! that is not even increasing discernment! It certainly is not maturity! It is pure Opinionation to think that I can discern what part of life 'is God' and what part is not - He is All and In all - for those that are trying to listen to the Holy Spirit, God is causing everything to work together for good (Romans 8:28)! He sends the good to teach me to rejoice and be thankful, and He sends the hard and the bad to teach me to rejoice and be thankful! God is fully in both the high and low points! God is fully in both the richness and the dry places - both are for our good and both lead us to greater maturity. In a word this is all about trust. Does fasting really matter? Does being a community that fasts really matter? We have to trust in order to do it. And in the doing we find out more about Who it is that we are trusting.
Taken down a notch and moved into the day-to-day - God is in both the busyness and the quiet, He is in both the plenty and the sparse, He is in our small group, and in the other small groups, and even in the church body at the end of the street we don't really agree with! He is walking down the street fretting about His bills He cannot pay. He is planning on being alone in a cold apartment on Christmas Day. He will be at a swanky sweater party on the west-side on Christmas Eve. He is and will be with both the rich and the poor, the good and the bad, the successful and the screw-up (so I guess if success has screwed you up then you are doubly blessed? ...just kidding; = )
Part of fasting is learning to seek God and not reward, To seek Him for, and to know Him in, all His magnificent brilliance. The fact that the reward - of blessing and consolation sometimes (often-times!) comes with our seeking - is a really cool side-effect - but those are not at all the reason or even the benefit we are after. Our deep soul-need is that we are each seeking and craving a deeper and better friendship with God. We all desperately want to be wanted - even more so with regard to being both known and wanted by God! At some deep level we all know that we need to diligently be about finding our God-role model and then beginning to imitate Him. To know Him and and to emulate Him is a our greatest good - so if fasting gets us one step closer, if turning off the TV gets us one prayer, one more bit of hope, one faith-thought deeper into relationship with Him. Then lets agree to go hungry one more day.
We step into a fast in trust - in faith - that somewhere in the heavenlies our tiny act creates a ripple and blessings and life are enacted - we may never see the reward in this life - but let us set the example, the bar if you will, by becoming the kind of people who don't need to see reward - and are instead assured purely by trust in a Good God that getting to participate, to step in - even for a second - into God's sovereign will and life, is enough for us and is reward all its own.
Blessings, A.G.
Saturday, December 14, 2013
Goodwin household - Media Fast
Hi All! Sorry for the long delay since the last post!
We have been luxuriating (seriously!) in the joy of having the TV turned off and media devices put away in the evenings once the work-day is done. (personal note - the only 'twitch' i have been suffering from is the recurring urge to go and log on my iPad for no apparent reason other than looking for something to do).
An odd side effect has been that the sun now goes down much earlier. About 8:30 at night we start feeling like it is midnight and the yawns start setting in. Spencer Crawford (#LoveAndMissSpencerandUrsulaAndMarie = ) was at our house the other night for dinner and by the end of the evening I was struggling to keep my eyes open (we talked for almost 6 hours straight through!). The Goodwin's are finding that with even a modest reduction in our stimulus uptake - with no media and no gadgets in our hands serving as distraction for even part of the day - we are doing a lot more talking when with one another and a lot more reading and quiet-time when apart.
Having this fast occurring in the midst of Advent filled us (initially) with a sense of dread - one more thing to accommodate we groaned as we gazed at the 40+ items already on the calendar in the month of December!!! But in truth, it has been freeing. Alanna and I have been struggling with our share of trials and frustrations and forgiveness as feelings get trampled by a driven world...but in the midst of all the hard stuff, the mere act of fasting seems to have introduced a rich texture to the season and an imbued sense of thankfulness we have not experienced in several years. We have failed at gathering at the table every morning and night to read the daily scriptures and light the daily candles, but on the days we have - the entrance into worshiping God by quieting our hearts and eyes for a few minutes has seemed more natural, more fitting and I think it has a lot to do with the intentionality of choosing to be in a fasted lifestyle already. Don't get me wrong; the temptations to seek distraction, to get angry at increasingly small details, to lose patience; those are all still coming fast and furious and probably more so as spiritual muscles are flexed, but the joy of simple participation in the process is clearly, and increasingly worth it.
Our kids are getting older and more intellectual in their demands on us, but even as that stress amplifies, with the course of this 7 fast, we are finding renewed authority to push back and resist the culture of 'I want'...and the intimidating demands of: 'but so and so in my class already has 3 of those!'... This life of faith and following Jesus and teaching our kids how to love others does not include our making them happy all the time or preventing them from encountering any disappointments - walking this road is about growing in our own friendship with God and teaching them to do the same.
Again, sorry about the delay in reposting.
Truly today, Joy to the World. The Lord will soon be born.
Blessings, on you all:
The Goodwins.
We have been luxuriating (seriously!) in the joy of having the TV turned off and media devices put away in the evenings once the work-day is done. (personal note - the only 'twitch' i have been suffering from is the recurring urge to go and log on my iPad for no apparent reason other than looking for something to do).
An odd side effect has been that the sun now goes down much earlier. About 8:30 at night we start feeling like it is midnight and the yawns start setting in. Spencer Crawford (#LoveAndMissSpencerandUrsulaAndMarie = ) was at our house the other night for dinner and by the end of the evening I was struggling to keep my eyes open (we talked for almost 6 hours straight through!). The Goodwin's are finding that with even a modest reduction in our stimulus uptake - with no media and no gadgets in our hands serving as distraction for even part of the day - we are doing a lot more talking when with one another and a lot more reading and quiet-time when apart.
Having this fast occurring in the midst of Advent filled us (initially) with a sense of dread - one more thing to accommodate we groaned as we gazed at the 40+ items already on the calendar in the month of December!!! But in truth, it has been freeing. Alanna and I have been struggling with our share of trials and frustrations and forgiveness as feelings get trampled by a driven world...but in the midst of all the hard stuff, the mere act of fasting seems to have introduced a rich texture to the season and an imbued sense of thankfulness we have not experienced in several years. We have failed at gathering at the table every morning and night to read the daily scriptures and light the daily candles, but on the days we have - the entrance into worshiping God by quieting our hearts and eyes for a few minutes has seemed more natural, more fitting and I think it has a lot to do with the intentionality of choosing to be in a fasted lifestyle already. Don't get me wrong; the temptations to seek distraction, to get angry at increasingly small details, to lose patience; those are all still coming fast and furious and probably more so as spiritual muscles are flexed, but the joy of simple participation in the process is clearly, and increasingly worth it.
Our kids are getting older and more intellectual in their demands on us, but even as that stress amplifies, with the course of this 7 fast, we are finding renewed authority to push back and resist the culture of 'I want'...and the intimidating demands of: 'but so and so in my class already has 3 of those!'... This life of faith and following Jesus and teaching our kids how to love others does not include our making them happy all the time or preventing them from encountering any disappointments - walking this road is about growing in our own friendship with God and teaching them to do the same.
Again, sorry about the delay in reposting.
Truly today, Joy to the World. The Lord will soon be born.
Blessings, on you all:
The Goodwins.
Sunday, December 01, 2013
possessions... the beginning.
Hello! We have decided to purge 7-10 items per person per day. We have included the kids on the part of the fast.
Nic and I both were talking about how this "seems" like an easy fast for us because we both come from families who had one parent who tended to be a hoarder. Together we have an easy time getting rid of stuff. Something that stood out to us though is we were having trouble defining what it an "earthly treasure" for us. BUT after doing the reading something that stood out to us is that a stored earthy treasure doesn't always equal something of great worth or what we spend our money on but rather what takes up our time/attention. That made it easier for us to define what is important to us.
Even though we are getting started on this later than we wanted, we are going to continue this the whole week. It will be interesting to see what ends up leaving our house.
As a last point, is there anyone we know who could use some extra help or things? Perhaps as a group this is something we can pool together to tackle and be intentional about where we donate our things. Where do you donate items?
love to you all!
Nic and I both were talking about how this "seems" like an easy fast for us because we both come from families who had one parent who tended to be a hoarder. Together we have an easy time getting rid of stuff. Something that stood out to us though is we were having trouble defining what it an "earthly treasure" for us. BUT after doing the reading something that stood out to us is that a stored earthy treasure doesn't always equal something of great worth or what we spend our money on but rather what takes up our time/attention. That made it easier for us to define what is important to us.
Even though we are getting started on this later than we wanted, we are going to continue this the whole week. It will be interesting to see what ends up leaving our house.
As a last point, is there anyone we know who could use some extra help or things? Perhaps as a group this is something we can pool together to tackle and be intentional about where we donate our things. Where do you donate items?
love to you all!
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
And now about all this stuff...
Hi fellow Seven'ers!
That was a great meeting with great food and great conversation! Thanks for sharing everyone. I am actually excited as we move into phase two and start the dialog about stuff. I think it was stuff and our accumulation of it that first drew me to this idea personally.
For some reason I have always been particularly bothered about the parable of the rich man who was very clever. By my standards, he is clearly a prosperous and clever man doing well for himself but God seems to have a very different view. I think I have for some time now lived in a state of wondering at what level is health - how much is enough, how much is too much, at what point am I ceasing to be in the world and am instead consuming my way into being of the world. I think the poison of this is that it is not just in the stuff, or the earnings, or even in the money itself - it is what all of those things do to the heart. This passage never says the status of this rich man's salvation, but I think we should consider it dire warning enough that Jesus (God Himself!) said, 'Foolish man'! It is clear the message that the body and the circumstances may still be alive, but the danger is that the heart could have died, and the spirit be condemned long before...
Then Jesus said to them, “Be careful and guard against all kinds of greed. People do not get life from the many things they own.” Then Jesus used this story: “There was a rich man who had some land. His land grew a very good crop of food. He thought to himself, ‘What will I do? I have no place to keep all my crops.’ “Then he said, ‘I know what I will do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger barns! I will put all my wheat and good things together in my new barns. Then I can say to myself, I have many good things stored. I have saved enough for many years. Rest, eat, drink, and enjoy life!’ “But God said to that man, ‘Foolish man! Tonight you will die. So what about the things you prepared for yourself? Who will get those things now?’ “This is how it will be for anyone who saves things only for himself. To God that person is not rich.” (Luke 12:15-21 ERV)
That was a great meeting with great food and great conversation! Thanks for sharing everyone. I am actually excited as we move into phase two and start the dialog about stuff. I think it was stuff and our accumulation of it that first drew me to this idea personally.
For some reason I have always been particularly bothered about the parable of the rich man who was very clever. By my standards, he is clearly a prosperous and clever man doing well for himself but God seems to have a very different view. I think I have for some time now lived in a state of wondering at what level is health - how much is enough, how much is too much, at what point am I ceasing to be in the world and am instead consuming my way into being of the world. I think the poison of this is that it is not just in the stuff, or the earnings, or even in the money itself - it is what all of those things do to the heart. This passage never says the status of this rich man's salvation, but I think we should consider it dire warning enough that Jesus (God Himself!) said, 'Foolish man'! It is clear the message that the body and the circumstances may still be alive, but the danger is that the heart could have died, and the spirit be condemned long before...
Then Jesus said to them, “Be careful and guard against all kinds of greed. People do not get life from the many things they own.” Then Jesus used this story: “There was a rich man who had some land. His land grew a very good crop of food. He thought to himself, ‘What will I do? I have no place to keep all my crops.’ “Then he said, ‘I know what I will do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger barns! I will put all my wheat and good things together in my new barns. Then I can say to myself, I have many good things stored. I have saved enough for many years. Rest, eat, drink, and enjoy life!’ “But God said to that man, ‘Foolish man! Tonight you will die. So what about the things you prepared for yourself? Who will get those things now?’ “This is how it will be for anyone who saves things only for himself. To God that person is not rich.” (Luke 12:15-21 ERV)
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Food Fast - Day 4 - the Goodwin's
Brenna, Nic, Hi! Thanks for the post...you are the first adventurer(s) to do so! Yes, Alanna and I agree that it is important to start paying attention to what you consume. Food seems to be all around us, but real food, seems increasingly difficult to come by. In Defense of Food is brilliant - after taking in Polan's ideas you can't help but be fired up about going back to real food rather than continue to soak in a sea of processed foods, GMO's, and high-fructose corn syrup!!!
Today I woke up feeling good. Though the headaches persist, the excitement of living in this simpler way felt invigorating. This was the first day where I sensed that it was no longer purely a mental battle over whether or not to continue and instead felt a tug to worship and ask for the Lord's movement in this tiny space created by my divestiture from luxury eating. In context, this fast seems infuriatingly small - and I say infuriating because it is taking so much effort to open up such a small space, I almost feel silly.
Everyone stay strong! God is in this and even if it feels like it is going nowhere, He will faithfully change us, lead us, and make something amazing out of our little leap of faith. I just know it!
Blessings all,
A.G.
Today I woke up feeling good. Though the headaches persist, the excitement of living in this simpler way felt invigorating. This was the first day where I sensed that it was no longer purely a mental battle over whether or not to continue and instead felt a tug to worship and ask for the Lord's movement in this tiny space created by my divestiture from luxury eating. In context, this fast seems infuriatingly small - and I say infuriating because it is taking so much effort to open up such a small space, I almost feel silly.
Everyone stay strong! God is in this and even if it feels like it is going nowhere, He will faithfully change us, lead us, and make something amazing out of our little leap of faith. I just know it!
Blessings all,
A.G.
from Brenna Wilson
Hello everyone! So for this week Nic and I are doing different fasts. I'll let him explain his in another blog post. I am giving up a few things this week. I tried to think of what would be a sacrifice for the week. First, I'm only cooking with what we have. No grocery shopping. Also, I am giving up alcohol, snacking in the evening when the kids go to bed, and lunch.
It's funny because I thought giving up lunch would be the hardest but I love having a snack and drinking a glass of wine when the girls go to bed. This is actually the first time I have fasted.
In doing in the read in the book, I'm glad she touched on giving more thought to what we are actually putting in our bodies because they are a temple. As much as this isn't a diet but putting more consideration into how we are actually eating is important. It was interesting to read the laws God had laid out about eating pure vs impure animals. Btw, I highly recommend not only reading In Defense of Food but Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbera Kingsolver is an amazing book about this subject as well.
Above all it was good reminder that we are doing this fast to create a margin for God to move.
I am looking forward to seeing all of you on Tuesday!
It's funny because I thought giving up lunch would be the hardest but I love having a snack and drinking a glass of wine when the girls go to bed. This is actually the first time I have fasted.
In doing in the read in the book, I'm glad she touched on giving more thought to what we are actually putting in our bodies because they are a temple. As much as this isn't a diet but putting more consideration into how we are actually eating is important. It was interesting to read the laws God had laid out about eating pure vs impure animals. Btw, I highly recommend not only reading In Defense of Food but Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbera Kingsolver is an amazing book about this subject as well.
Above all it was good reminder that we are doing this fast to create a margin for God to move.
I am looking forward to seeing all of you on Tuesday!
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Food Fast - Day 3 - the Goodwin's
Today is rough. Today my head hurts. Today I am battling back and forth between what this is about and why. Today I feel non-spiritual and my memory about why this is important feels fuzzy.
It has occurred to me that I need to return to the habit of breath prayers so that I can more quickly combat these doubts and desires. I think the beat of today's prayer drum might have to be simply: 'Lord have mercy on me' on the inhale and with the sigh of exhale 'i don't think I can keep doing this'.
I have noticed my sense of smell is sky-rocketing. I have also noticed that things I have not craved in years popping into my head like they are spiritual revelations unto themselves. I am also noticing things as I pass them by and think, 'oh I could go for....nope'. Not today.
Alanna is feeling demoralized at the revelation that we are likely completely and hopelessly hooked on caffeine. Speaking of drums and bands, she has one inside each side of her forehead competing to see who can pound on the sides of her head the hardest. I don't think I am in as much pain as Alanna is, but I too have a bruiser of a headache going. Humorously, on the health front, I don't think I have been this well hydrated in months!
My one spiritual thought on this long day has been that I really need God. I am hapless and helpless after only 2.5 days I have completely run out of my own desire to continue. I think I speak for both Goodwin's when I say we are now out to the 'leaning on God' phase of this process. As I walked to my car after work tonight, I had to smile at the thought that I am like an Israelite living off of manna in the desert. I am perfectly well nourished. I am healthy and strong and able to make it through the day and yet, merely be severely shortening the list of items I have access to I am feeling disgruntled, deprived, and thrown off my game.
Tomorrow will be better. Now off to see my family and enjoy a creatively construed meal of chicken breast, sautéed spinach leaves, and mashed sweet potatoes. So good.
P.S. - I never knew how much I liked hard-boiled eggs with salt and whole wheat bread toasted with nothing on it. Those are my two favorite things right now - there like my luxury items!. Today at my desk more than once I wanted that piece of dry whole wheat toast so much it made my mouth water, and at lunch, Alanna had packed me one hard-boiled egg in this tiny little see-through rubbermaid container and I was so pumped when I got it out of my lunch sack! Thank you little ovoid friend.
Blessings,
A.G.
It has occurred to me that I need to return to the habit of breath prayers so that I can more quickly combat these doubts and desires. I think the beat of today's prayer drum might have to be simply: 'Lord have mercy on me' on the inhale and with the sigh of exhale 'i don't think I can keep doing this'.
I have noticed my sense of smell is sky-rocketing. I have also noticed that things I have not craved in years popping into my head like they are spiritual revelations unto themselves. I am also noticing things as I pass them by and think, 'oh I could go for....nope'. Not today.
Alanna is feeling demoralized at the revelation that we are likely completely and hopelessly hooked on caffeine. Speaking of drums and bands, she has one inside each side of her forehead competing to see who can pound on the sides of her head the hardest. I don't think I am in as much pain as Alanna is, but I too have a bruiser of a headache going. Humorously, on the health front, I don't think I have been this well hydrated in months!
My one spiritual thought on this long day has been that I really need God. I am hapless and helpless after only 2.5 days I have completely run out of my own desire to continue. I think I speak for both Goodwin's when I say we are now out to the 'leaning on God' phase of this process. As I walked to my car after work tonight, I had to smile at the thought that I am like an Israelite living off of manna in the desert. I am perfectly well nourished. I am healthy and strong and able to make it through the day and yet, merely be severely shortening the list of items I have access to I am feeling disgruntled, deprived, and thrown off my game.
Tomorrow will be better. Now off to see my family and enjoy a creatively construed meal of chicken breast, sautéed spinach leaves, and mashed sweet potatoes. So good.
P.S. - I never knew how much I liked hard-boiled eggs with salt and whole wheat bread toasted with nothing on it. Those are my two favorite things right now - there like my luxury items!. Today at my desk more than once I wanted that piece of dry whole wheat toast so much it made my mouth water, and at lunch, Alanna had packed me one hard-boiled egg in this tiny little see-through rubbermaid container and I was so pumped when I got it out of my lunch sack! Thank you little ovoid friend.
Blessings,
A.G.
Monday, November 11, 2013
Food Fast - Day 2 - the Goodwin's
Monday,
November 11 - Day 2 - Breakfast, while eating an (actually and completely)
amazing breakfast of a piece of bread, an egg, and some slices of avocado piled
in the form of a little open-faced sandwich it suddenly occurred to me that the
list of ingredients we are choosing is incredibly similar to the list of
ingredients in the Passover meal (compare to http://chabad.org
= > 'seder'). The one exception I
think are the bitter herbs…wait…there is my tea).
This thought was very invigorating and gave me a great jolt of joy as I realized we are communally participating in this fast while rolling straight into the holiday season! December first is the first day of Advent and the season when we celebrate the coming of the Paschal (Passover) Lamb of God the fulfillment of what Israel both commemorated (leaving Egypt) and anticipated (waiting for Messiah) every year at the Passover. That person is Jesus! The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world! The thought that He is so loving us and so wanting us to know Him that without realizing it we are walking into God's reality for a season BY eating His menu is really life-giving at many levels! This is going to be happy early Passover week. Now the holidays can really begin = ).
AG.
This thought was very invigorating and gave me a great jolt of joy as I realized we are communally participating in this fast while rolling straight into the holiday season! December first is the first day of Advent and the season when we celebrate the coming of the Paschal (Passover) Lamb of God the fulfillment of what Israel both commemorated (leaving Egypt) and anticipated (waiting for Messiah) every year at the Passover. That person is Jesus! The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world! The thought that He is so loving us and so wanting us to know Him that without realizing it we are walking into God's reality for a season BY eating His menu is really life-giving at many levels! This is going to be happy early Passover week. Now the holidays can really begin = ).
AG.
Food Fast - Day 1 - the Goodwin's
Fast - Day
One
Monday,
November 11, 2013
9:19 AM
Sunday November 10th
- Day 1 - I was irritated at what I had agreed to. Not right off but by night-fall when I was
starving from having eaten only nutritional 'snacks' all day.
We simply chose to
go with the 7 items the author chose and see how workable it was. (eggs, chicken, spinach, whole wheat bread,
avocados, apples, and sweet potatoes - salt, pepper, and olive oil the only
cooking/prep ingredients allowed).
Along with the
limitation of the 7, we decided that on
the liquids side that juice, coffee, and alcohol were also right out (sorry
joe, sorry beer, wish you were here! I know you represent both mornings and
bread as they were meant to be…but this is a fast). Our one liquid luxury item is non-caffeinated
herbal tea. I hate herbal tea. I drank a couple pots throughout the
afternoon and evening it tasted so good.
At dinner time
Alanna made us a great feast of a piece of roasted chicken, some sautéed
spinach leaves, and mashed sweet potatoes.
That was fantastic and my sense of well-being was restored. We typically and unhealthily drink copious
amounts of coffee in the morning while washing down the occasional piece of
toast and bi-monthly multi-vitamin. At
lunch Alanna usually scrounges for whatever is clever and I eat (9 days out of
10) these huge black-bean and brown rice burritos with ridiculous amounts of
cheese, sour cream, fresh habanero salsa, and escabeche incorporated into a
ramalade of goodness.
Humor about what I
am not getting aside; I really have a
sense of well-being and sense that God is in this. One of the first and keenest reprimands that
we have run into is our verbiage - I immediately (without realizing it) began
talking about the fast in terms of all the things I could not have. Alanna jokingly said to me, "its about
the choosing not to have, not that you
'can't' have it!". That thought
cut right to the quick and I realized I had already failed miserably in my
attempt to be a modern-day participant in a fast that bore witness to others
suffering, that contemplated a simpler way to live - and had immediately
reverted back to my first check-down,
going right back to my favorite thought pattern of empowered
entitlement, "I might not have it right now… but that is only because this
fast says I can't …but I could have it if I wanted to!". It is interesting that my first response has
been to turn the fast into my enemy and accuse it if victimizing me and taking
away what I treasure. This is clearly a
deception, and the opposite of what we are learning that fasting is opening up
and freeing in our lives.
To explain further
the earlier comment that I feel like God is in this - I sense what I like to
refer to as my 'spiritual wits' are already sharper. I have had an immediate uptick in the sense
of joy that God is listening and honoring the process - almost as if the mere
decision to try to fast is when He started moving in response - not just
yesterday morning when we actually kicked off
the fast. First, upon waking and facing the fast for the first
time - I actually received a dose of gratitude and joy (early church saints
would have referred to it is as a 'consolation') when I realized the day before
at family functions we had eaten gluttonous crazy-bad for us food and the idea
of walking into God's space by way of eating healthy, natural, God-made foods
sounded really invigorating. In response
I happily made a piece of dry cracked-wheat toast with nothing on it and
munched on it while mulling this new contrast over. By evening having raked a ton of leaves,
helped out at a school, run into some old friends, made some new, and prayed
with multiple persons it was very clear to me that the Holy Spirit was
streamlining some things for me…rather than it all being hard and awkward, His reality that was already there was
quickly coming into sharper focus for me - making each interaction and moment
to be more naturally about Him. Fasting
is for so much more than mere self-discipline - it is learning to worship the living
God by way of our bodies - the act of eating or not-eating does not draw us
either nearer to or further from God (does not make us more or less holy). Instead the act of choosing to fast, by way
of physical bodies, frees us up to
better understand that movement and grace of God that is already at work. God is always at work, always about His plans of redemption in and
all around us (this is referred to as His prevenient will). Fasting is a purposeful choosing into
recognizing what it is, and how He is accomplishing His will. In short,
we are learning to worship Him with our bodies and the senses He gave
us.
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